Customer service is one heck of a beast. It's so hard to get right and so easy to get wrong. It's especially easy to get wrong when the people expected to give it are total idiots. This is going to require some elaboration, so let's dive in.
One day, this writer was at a local supermarket, looking to get a chicken breast from the deli. The deli worker proceeded to hover his tongs over all the chicken, touching several breasts before looking up at this writer and saying, "It looks like we don't have any." Naturally, this writer was confused, stating the how many the worker had flipped over. This writer did get his breast, chalking the weirdness up to a misunderstanding. Then, the next day happened...
Just like the previous day, this writer came in and requested a chicken breast. That same deli worker looked over all the pieces, pointed to two and asked, "which one do you want?" It was nice to have a choice, but there was just one problem; one of those pieces wasn't a breast. Combined with the experience of the previous day, this writer deduced that the deli worker was an idiot who'd never seen a chicken breast in his life. Even if the breast is boneless, only fools could confuse them with thighs. And for him to just one day earlier say there weren't any chicken breast when he grabbed and flipped no fewer than three of them with his tongs...it made this writer think he had no business being a deli worker. It's almost like the store just hired the first moron who walked in with a hairnet.
Then, something weird happened to this writer at, of all places, a chicken restaurant. This writer simply ordered some chicken, as one does at such establishments. He then paid for the food. That's when things went downhill. As the cashier was giving this writer, she drops it, causing it to fall and scatter everywhere, all while saying, "Nah, man, don't touch me!" This writer made no such attempt and still wonders to this day as to what she was hoping to accomplish with that stunt.
In another instance, this writer was in a discount store bringing some stuff to the register for purchase. Three cashiers were all talking to each other and one eventually decided to help him. When the writer paid for his purchases, the cashier just carelessly dropped his change and went back to conversing with her co-workers without a care in the world. And these people want to make $15/hr. Yeah...right.
Situations like these are why this writer prefers to use self-checkouts or dealing with machines when possible. Machines simply don't do stupid stuff like what these people and others have done and continue to do. This writer has acknowledge there are things machines will never be able to do, but the day customer service jobs become completely automated is a day this writer is looking forward to. This writer won't miss the bullshit that comes from human cashiers.
Barring that, these places could learn from this writer's current place of employment. There, all conversations between people at the service desks completely STOP when a customer comes around. They don't just DROP your change and pretend they did wrong. They actually qualified for their jobs and LIKE being helpful. On top of that, there are STILL self-checkouts for those who don't need anything more than to get their stuff and go.
The message is clear. These places either need to get more machines or get better people. Or maybe, just maybe, they can get both. Be better or go broke.
Until next time...
