Janitorial Memories

This writer has talked about his history as a supermarket janitor before.  It was a very hit-and-miss experience.  There were days this writer thought, "Hey, this is a nice, low-stress job."  Other days, this writer thought, "Why am I here and what am I doing with my life?"  One thing this writer can say is that of all the custodial jobs he's had, the supermarket job was easily the worst.

Why is that?  Because it was the one job where this writer ever questioned what he was doing with his life?  Idiotic supervisors, asshole customers, and straight-up dumb crap all combined to make it not only the worst custodial job this writer has ever had, but the worst job of any kind this writer has ever had.  Well, it's time to elaborate.

By now, everyone knows how this writer feels about women's bathrooms.  They are ALWAYS more disgusting than men's bathrooms.  One of the most disgusting things this writer has seen in a women's bathroom was a shit-caked tampon on the floor, just sitting there.  Then, there was the time this writer walked in and saw a big puddle of piss in the middle of the floor, because heaven forbid somebody goes into the bathroom and uses a TOILET.  Yeah...the fairer sex indeed.

Make no mistake, though.  Men's bathrooms may not be as disgust, but they try hard overtake the women's bathrooms.  This writer will never forget the day he was cleaning a men's bathroom, the smell of shit wafting through the air.  He lifted up a plunger next to the toilet and there it was; a big, slimey turd.  Granted, this was probably because a customer tried to unclog the toilet and the turd got stuck inside the plunger, but that doesn't more fun to clean it up.

And the garbage cans.  Naturally, you'd expect garbage cans to be disgusting, because...well...they're garbage cans.  But you wouldn't expect some of the bags to be as heavy as they wind up being.  This writer remembers a customer (who may or may not have been a janitor in a previous life) walking past as he was emptying a trash can and saying, "it's almost like they put bricks in there sometimes."  Well, low and behold, one time a bag tore partially, revealing there was, in fact, a brick inside.  This was (for lack of a better word) retarded, because who just walks to grocery stores putting brick in garbage bags?  No one with a brain that's functioning normally, that's for sure.

And those supervisors...so stupid.  This writer said in a previous post that the dumbest people in the world work in supermarkets.  This applies even at the top of the food chain.  There was this one manager who always ordered too few garbage bags.  The end result is that we'd always wind up running out of bags in a few days, instead of having enough to last the month like we should.  He always wondered, "Derp, I wonder why we keep running out of bags."  It's almost like you didn't order enough.  Anyone that incompetent shouldn't be running a marathon, much less a supermarket.

One constant annoyance is that this writer often had to go searching for the things he needed to do his job.  For instance, this writer would have to search for a broom for up to ten minutes sometimes.  Heaven forbid a janitor have access to a broom.  Other workers would often hide or bogard spray bottles for cleaning chemicals.  Eventually, this writer wound up buying his own bottles just to ensure he'd have some.

As for asshole customers, this writer is actually friends with one.  We'd be sitting in the store's café after this writer's shift and when it was time to leave, he wouldn't clean up after himself.  Leaving empty paper cups.  Leaving food containers.  Leaving empty ketchup packets.  His rationale for being a disgusting pig was he wanted to night janitors to, "Earn their fucking check."  Having been a janitor, this writer can say that they do enough to earn their check without some douchebag making a mess just for the sake of making a mess.

And those are just a few memories from this writer's experience as a supermarket janitor.  It wasn't all bad.  There were more good days than bad days.  The bad things stand out more, though.  And the bad days were REALLY bad.  Some of the things this writer saw (the plunger filled with shit was one of the tamer things) have scarred him for life.  On the whole, this writer would say if you must work at a supermarket, try not to be a janitor.

Until next time...

When Customer Service Turns To Shit...

Customer service is one heck of a beast.  It's so hard to get right and so easy to get wrong.  It's especially easy to get wrong when the people expected to give it are total idiots.  This is going to require some elaboration, so let's dive in.

One day, this writer was at a local supermarket, looking to get a chicken breast from the deli.  The deli worker proceeded to hover his tongs over all the chicken, touching several breasts before looking up at this writer and saying, "It looks like we don't have any."  Naturally, this writer was confused, stating the how many the worker had flipped over.  This writer did get his breast, chalking the weirdness up to a misunderstanding.  Then, the next day happened...

Just like the previous day, this writer came in and requested a chicken breast.  That same deli worker looked over all the pieces, pointed to two and asked, "which one do you want?"  It was nice to have a choice, but there was just one problem; one of those pieces wasn't a breast.  Combined with the experience of the previous day, this writer deduced that the deli worker was an idiot who'd never seen a chicken breast in his life.  Even if the breast is boneless, only fools could confuse them with thighs.  And for him to just one day earlier say there weren't any chicken breast when he grabbed and flipped no fewer than three of them with his tongs...it made this writer think he had no business being a deli worker.  It's almost like the store just hired the first moron who walked in with a hairnet.

Then, something weird happened to this writer at, of all places, a chicken restaurant.  This writer simply ordered some chicken, as one does at such establishments.  He then paid for the food.  That's when things went downhill.  As the cashier was giving this writer, she drops it, causing it to fall and scatter everywhere, all while saying, "Nah, man, don't touch me!"  This writer made no such attempt and still wonders to this day as to what she was hoping to accomplish with that stunt.

In another instance, this writer was in a discount store bringing some stuff to the register for purchase.  Three cashiers were all talking to each other and one eventually decided to help him.  When the writer paid for his purchases, the cashier just carelessly dropped his change and went back to conversing with her co-workers without a care in the world.  And these people want to make $15/hr.  Yeah...right.

Situations like these are why this writer prefers to use self-checkouts or dealing with machines when possible.  Machines simply don't do stupid stuff like what these people and others have done and continue to do.  This writer has acknowledge there are things machines will never be able to do, but the day customer service jobs become completely automated is a day this writer is looking forward to.  This writer won't miss the bullshit that comes from human cashiers.

Barring that, these places could learn from this writer's current place of employment.  There, all conversations between people at the service desks completely STOP when a customer comes around.  They don't just DROP your change and pretend they did wrong.  They actually qualified for their jobs and LIKE being helpful.  On top of that, there are STILL self-checkouts for those who don't need anything more than to get their stuff and go.

The message is clear.  These places either need to get more machines or get better people.  Or maybe, just maybe, they can get both.  Be better or go broke.

Until next time...

Stress Reduction The ADSBS Way

Stress.  Life's third guarantee.  Just like death and taxes, everyone is going to have to deal with it at some point.  But how?  These are things you can do that no doctor or therapist will tell you.

1.  Be Your Own Savior

There's a saying that goes, "No man is an island."  That doesn't mean you can't try to be one, though. It is nice to be able to rely on others, but it's just as good to be able to handle a situation yourself.  This is because your friends may not always be able to or even want to help you.  Being able to say "I'm good" when everyone else abandons you is definitely a reliever of stress.

2.  Play Video Games

Video games are a great escape from reality.  Strategy games in particular force you to take your mind off of what (or who) is pissing you off.  Just fire up SimCity or City Skylines.  It never fails.  Of course you can't go wrong with Tetris.

3.  A Different Tune

Listen to a music genre you don't normally listen to.  This writer likes rap and R&B.  When times are rough, though, country music gives him a kick.

4.  Brother From Another Spieces

Animals are natural therapy.  Play with a cute, cuddly cat for a few minutes and see if you can stay angry afterwards.  You almost certainly can't.

5.  Trim Your Hedges

Some "friends" are only your friend because they know they know they can piss you off.  You know who they are.  Get rid of them.  Throw them in the garbage and run away like Satan is chasing you.  Also, keep your circle small and tight, because too many friends can also be stressful.

6.  Be A Cushion Manager

The only thing more stressful than having money is not it.  Try your best to save something.  Anything.  It can stack up quickly and you'll have a nice cushion before you know it.  Don't just piss away money on crap now and you'll be able to buy your way out of trouble later.

7.  If It Doesn't Make Dollars, It'd Better Make Cents Or Sense

It's okay to have a low-paying job that you like.  It's also okay to have a high-paying job that you don't like.  But having a low-paying job that you hate?  That's a recipe for a mental break waiting to happen.  Avoid that if you can.

8.  It's As Easy As 1, 2...3?

Accountability is an excellent reliever of stress.  This is because it gives you a sense of control.  When stuff goes wrong, analyze the situation and ask yourself "what could I have done to change the outcome?"  Even if it's not your fault, seeing how you could have positively affected something is empowering.  You want that sense of control because you it's better to feel like you messed up than to feel like you were thrust into a situation that's beyond your control.

And those are some REAL ways to reduce and prevent stress.  Stress is something you want as little of in your life.  There are lots of ways to get it, but fortunately, there are just as many ways to get rid of it.

Until next time...

Shitty Customers

As you all may know, this writer has gone in hard on cashiers, clerks, etc.  At the same time, this writer can acknowledge when the customer is being a piece of garbage.  This writer has seen them in videos online and in person.

For example, if you google the word "McAss Whuppin'", you'll get a number of videos of people fighting in McDonald's.  The Rayon McIntosh beatdown from 2011 is still one of this writer's favorite McDonald's incidents to this day.  Just because you're a customer doesn't mean you get to put your hands on people.

Another good McAss Whuppin' is when an angry customer grabbed a cashier.  This cashier responded by serving up a Quarter Pounding with Cheese.  Someone give that lady a promotion.  Truly a feel-good moment.

This writer has also seen videos where people have people trash stores and cuss out employees.  In particular a lot of videos are up on people destroying GameStop store, all while the employees stand there, pretty much defenseless to stop it.  And for what?  All so someone you don't want in your store to come back

Heck, at this writer's own job, he's seen front-liners (cashiers, clerks, etc.) run away from the service area crying because a customer did them dirty and they had no choice but to take it.  While this writer is thankfully not a front-liner himself, he is a fan of the Ron Artest approach to customers like that (put the phrase 'Malice at the Palace' in your search engine if you still don't understand).

Some people do fight back against terrible customers in their own way.  This writer hasn't seen these instances, but he has heard about them from people.  This writer won't go into detail about these stories, however he will give you fair warning; if you're going to be an asshole to workers doing their job, make sure you don't do it at a restaurant.  The mathematical equation P+F=X should sum things up nicely.  In this equation, P is a pissed off worker, F is your food, and X is...nothing good for your stomach.  Just leave the food and get out.

In the end, this writer believes that customers are allowed (entitled even) to have grievances with people who give bad service.  There is a way to do it with etiquette, decorum, and peaceful.  Cussing out people and starting fights with the staff isn't the solution.  If cussing, fighting, and acting a fool is your solution, you get what you get.  The customer is USUALLY right, but not always.  Not when it involves attacking workers and/or making them crying.

Until next time...

Public Bathrooms

Public bathrooms.  The place where refuse comes to rest.  Sadly that refers to the stuff that comes out of people, as well as the people themselves.

This writer has already talked about his days of cleaning supermarket bathroom at length.  This writer has seen all the horrors contained in public bathrooms for both genders.  Shit-caked toilets, piss-soaked floors, vomit, toilet paper and paper towels strewn about.  Of course supermarket bathrooms are just one segment of public bathrooms.  Even in his janitorial days, this writer wasn't being a janitor 24/7.  This writer experienced (and still does) disturbing and downright disgusting things in bathroom.

For example, no matter where this writer goes, he always finds piss on top of the urinals for some reason.  At the mall, at the bookstore, at work.  Is there some sort of weird challenge going on or can guys just not aim?  The beauty of urinals is that the target zone is so big, you can't possibly miss.  So maybe it is a challenge or perhaps their just being assholes.

Or one time at the mall, this writer entered the bathroom and the most grotesque, odious, and foul smell blasted into his nostrils.  The only way to describe it is to call it indescribable.  What does someone eat to produce smells like that, because this writer wants to avoid it.

And what collection of public bathroom stories would be complete without a story of a grown man trying to look at another man's penis while he's trying to take a piss?  It happened recently, as this writer was using a urinal.  That's when this old man came, looking over this writer's shoulder asking, "Is my cellphone over here?"  Then, he headed for the door, saying, "It's right here," apparently having checked himself thoroughly.  Now he very well could have really been looking for his phone, but it's unlikely.  It doesn't matter what you're looking for, that's simply something you just don't do.  Who wants to have a creepy, old man trying to look at his penis while he's trying to take a piss?  This writer felt like he was in a Catholic church.  The man was like a ninja, because he left pretty fast and when this writer exited about ten seconds later, he was nowhere to be found.

Entering a public bathroom is always a risky undertaking.  People tend to abuse them because they don't have to clean them later.  Some places look like Ryan Lochte is their janitor.  Some places have shady people that try to look at your junk.  A few places tend to be good, but with most places you'd be better off going straight into the sewers to relieve yourself.  There's less shit down there.

Until next time...

Bad Drivers

This writer has more experience then he cares to with bad drivers.  It goes hand and hand with riding a bike.  Or crossing the street.  Allow this writer to elaborate and differentiate.

Those of you who have read this writer's previous entries know that that this writer has been hit by cars twice and had countless close calls.  Fotunately, this writer has had the good fortune of losing his bike (and nothing else) in these instances.  Some people, however, aren't so lucky or blessed.  We receive reminders of this on a daily basis.

This writer saw a YouTube video of someone showing a video of multiple close calls where drivers zoomed zoom the street, almost mowing down children.  It's was to the point where this writer thought they were, in fact, looking to kill someone.  Where did these people have to go that was so important that you would potentially mow down children to get there?  The video hammered home just how little of a shit people give about other humans these days.

Here in Michigan, we have two seasons; construction season and Winter, aka Retarded Driving season.  It seems like the colder the weather gets here, the stupider people's driving habits become.  It's bad enough that the roads are iced over, which already increases the likelihood of an accident.  We don't bad drivers making accidents a near certainty.  In another instance of personal experience, this writer was recently riding his bike home when an IDIOT swerved over on the wrong side of the road, nearly hitting this writer, before swerving back to the right side of the road.  Maybe they were just trying to be assholes, but this writer will chalk it up to being retarded behind the wheel, because things like this happen to often for it to be a coincidence.

This writer witnessed perhaps dumbest of all dumb drivers, when he saw a driver texting while making a turn.  That is total garbage.  What makes people do things like that?  You know you could hit and/or kill someone when you do that so why?  This writer thinks that people who text-and-drive should be charged with attempted murder (or murder if they actually kill someone).  Heavy-handed?  Perhaps, but what else is this writer supposed to think when these drivers knowingly get behind the wheel their actions could kill someone?

The biggest solution to stupid drivers is one this writer has said before and will repeat until the day he dies; Don't trust drivers.  There's a whole lot of drivers out there that don't give a lot of fucks.  Don't assume that driver are going to stop, even if they see you.  You can't stop them from driving stupid, but you can avoid putting yourself in a position to be hit.  Always, always, ALWAYS make sure your safety is in your hands.

Until next time...