Public Bathrooms

Public bathrooms.  The place where refuse comes to rest.  Sadly that refers to the stuff that comes out of people, as well as the people themselves.

This writer has already talked about his days of cleaning supermarket bathroom at length.  This writer has seen all the horrors contained in public bathrooms for both genders.  Shit-caked toilets, piss-soaked floors, vomit, toilet paper and paper towels strewn about.  Of course supermarket bathrooms are just one segment of public bathrooms.  Even in his janitorial days, this writer wasn't being a janitor 24/7.  This writer experienced (and still does) disturbing and downright disgusting things in bathroom.

For example, no matter where this writer goes, he always finds piss on top of the urinals for some reason.  At the mall, at the bookstore, at work.  Is there some sort of weird challenge going on or can guys just not aim?  The beauty of urinals is that the target zone is so big, you can't possibly miss.  So maybe it is a challenge or perhaps their just being assholes.

Or one time at the mall, this writer entered the bathroom and the most grotesque, odious, and foul smell blasted into his nostrils.  The only way to describe it is to call it indescribable.  What does someone eat to produce smells like that, because this writer wants to avoid it.

And what collection of public bathroom stories would be complete without a story of a grown man trying to look at another man's penis while he's trying to take a piss?  It happened recently, as this writer was using a urinal.  That's when this old man came, looking over this writer's shoulder asking, "Is my cellphone over here?"  Then, he headed for the door, saying, "It's right here," apparently having checked himself thoroughly.  Now he very well could have really been looking for his phone, but it's unlikely.  It doesn't matter what you're looking for, that's simply something you just don't do.  Who wants to have a creepy, old man trying to look at his penis while he's trying to take a piss?  This writer felt like he was in a Catholic church.  The man was like a ninja, because he left pretty fast and when this writer exited about ten seconds later, he was nowhere to be found.

Entering a public bathroom is always a risky undertaking.  People tend to abuse them because they don't have to clean them later.  Some places look like Ryan Lochte is their janitor.  Some places have shady people that try to look at your junk.  A few places tend to be good, but with most places you'd be better off going straight into the sewers to relieve yourself.  There's less shit down there.

Until next time...