If you've read this writer's past post, you know he's written a good deal on friends and friendship. What's a good friend? What's a bad friend? When do you question the strength of a friendship? When do you ditch a friend? What do you do when you've been ditched? This writer has written on all these things. One thing this writer has always wanted to get into depth on is the "fake" friend. That time is now.
This writer remember it clearly. It was a late night at a supermarket that shall remain nameless. This writer was sitting in the store's café, working hard on a blog entry for you all to read. Then, that's when the "friend" showed up. That wasn't unusual. We met there, so it's not like this writer wasn't expecting him.
Now, this "friend" was a talkative person. You know, the kind person who speaks in run-on sentences. It's almost as if they'd die if they stop talking. At times, this writer wanted to say, "Calm down. It's okay to take a breath every now and then."
Anyway, this writer would listen to this person's garbage week after week. It was "white devil" this, "Dutch bastard" that, how bad Michigan is, and how much he can't wait to go back south. This writer just sat there quietly, wanting to blow out his own brains with any gun within reach.
Then, one day this writer didn't want to do one thing he wanted to do. That was good enough to have this "friend" on him and hurl all kinds of verbal garbage. This writer went from being a "great friend who's smart and listens" to "evil, mentally ill, and ghetto". Keep in mind, this was all because this writer refused to do one VERY MINOR thing.
He then went on ask a series of dumb questions. Why do you hate me? Why do you hate Black people? Why do you hate yourself? The whole time, the writer was calmly thinking, "This is why nobody wants Black people around. Too much drama for no good reason."
It got to the point where he threatened to leave and not come back. At this point, this writer welcomed him to do so, because he'd heard enough. This writer was even willing to pay him to leave. Of course, he didn't leave. He calmed down (sort of) and talked about how he needed this writer's friendship. Quite the mood swing, almost like a drug addict. This writer didn't need that kind of "friendship" and took his leave.
In the end, it was like dealing with an abusive spouse. They'll abuse you and say they'll never do it again. If your head is working, you'll realize the person is full of BS, decide you don't need the stress, and leave. If you stay, knowing that this person can (and will) turn on you, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Sure, you can take the risk that that it won't happen again, but you'd better make sure that's a risk worth taking.
Just for the record, this writer was say that not all "friends" are worth keeping. Identify them as "toxic", shed them quickly, and RUN! There is no shame in getting out if you're miserable or being done dirty.
Until next time...
Anyway, this writer would listen to this person's garbage week after week. It was "white devil" this, "Dutch bastard" that, how bad Michigan is, and how much he can't wait to go back south. This writer just sat there quietly, wanting to blow out his own brains with any gun within reach.
Then, one day this writer didn't want to do one thing he wanted to do. That was good enough to have this "friend" on him and hurl all kinds of verbal garbage. This writer went from being a "great friend who's smart and listens" to "evil, mentally ill, and ghetto". Keep in mind, this was all because this writer refused to do one VERY MINOR thing.
He then went on ask a series of dumb questions. Why do you hate me? Why do you hate Black people? Why do you hate yourself? The whole time, the writer was calmly thinking, "This is why nobody wants Black people around. Too much drama for no good reason."
It got to the point where he threatened to leave and not come back. At this point, this writer welcomed him to do so, because he'd heard enough. This writer was even willing to pay him to leave. Of course, he didn't leave. He calmed down (sort of) and talked about how he needed this writer's friendship. Quite the mood swing, almost like a drug addict. This writer didn't need that kind of "friendship" and took his leave.
In the end, it was like dealing with an abusive spouse. They'll abuse you and say they'll never do it again. If your head is working, you'll realize the person is full of BS, decide you don't need the stress, and leave. If you stay, knowing that this person can (and will) turn on you, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Sure, you can take the risk that that it won't happen again, but you'd better make sure that's a risk worth taking.
Just for the record, this writer was say that not all "friends" are worth keeping. Identify them as "toxic", shed them quickly, and RUN! There is no shame in getting out if you're miserable or being done dirty.
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment