When The Conversation Turns...

There are few things more rewarding than sitting down and having a nice, long conversation with a friend.  You'll start with the intention of talking for ten minutes and the next thing you know, three hours have passed.  It's the ultimate display of comradery and TRUE friendship.  Sometimes, though, conversations can take (for lack of a better word) weird turns.

For instance, this writer has a friend he talks to about almost everything.  No matter what we talk about each meeting, we always wind up talking about three things: politics, players (like basketball or soccer), and penises.  Yep.  You read right.  Naturally, as a straight man, this writer doesn't want to talk about penises.  Yet for reasons beyond this writer's understanding, this friend (who claims he's also straight) never fails to find a way to eventually talk about another man penis.

WTF?  This writer doesn't know many straight men who enjoy talking about the male sex organ so much.  Heck, this writer doesn't know gay men that obsessed with it.  Kobe Bryant, President Trump, Blake Griffin, Roger Federer, etc.  There's not a man alive (or dead, disturbingly enough) who's "organ" he won't fantasize about.  Somehow, he acts surprised when this writer questions his "straightness".  Gee, could it be because you're the ONLY male who keeps talking about other men's penises?  And before you ask, he's not some penis doctor.

Heck, he even wonders about the appendage between this writer's legs.  For instance, this writer will say something like, "Those NFL cheerleaders sure are hot."  This friend won't ask this writer to describe the cheerleaders.  Instead, he'll ask, "Did your dick get hard?"  WTF?  What straight man wants to know about the status of another man's appendage when the conversation was about hot cheerleaders?  Yet he's claims to not be gay.  Yeah...

This friend will also say VERY weird stuff.  One day, we were in the park talking and we saw someone walking in the distance.  This friend then said, "If that was a woman and we were hood, we'd be raping her."  Why would an older (he's got fourteen years on this writer), "educated" man say something like that?  How does something like that come into the mind of someone who's not mentally ill?

And his fantasies are always some messed up crap like that.  It's never something constructive that will improve our lives and/or the lives of those around us.  It ALWAYS something fuckshit that will get us thrown in jail.  It makes this writer wonder why he even has a guy like that in his circle.

It's not all bad, though.  Most of the time, it's good conversions.  But other times (more often than this writer would like) it make this writer want to walk away and never talk to him again (or at least tell him to shut up).

Do you have any friends like that?  People you may be ashamed to be seen with in public because they just say weird, stupid, or borderline criminal at in opportune times?  You can survive.  Just tell them you don't want to talk about the subject or don't participate in the conversation.  Or just start walking away.  They'll learn...hopefully.

Until next time...